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My Baby Doesn’t Want Distractions

my baby doesn't want distractions

By being with Sufiana and trying to understand her with awareness, I’m getting to understand more and more what enriches her mind, heart and soul. And, day after day, my conviction that babies don’t want to be stimulated (distracted?) with toys, artificial sounds and sights, a fake, pretend world, is becoming clearer and crisper.

No matter how colourful the toys, no matter how animated the sounds from the battery-operated gadgets, she moves away from these within a matter of minutes.

The moments that she regales in are the interactions with us…

– the conversations that we have, the stories that I tell her (and NOT read to her). The inanimate objects that she finds fascinating are the ones that we the grown-ups use in our daily lives – the steel utensils in my kitchen, the packs of rice and lentils and spices, the paint brushes that she watches Pari using, the pens that are sprawled on Pari’s writing table, the vegetables in the refrigerator basket, the buckets filled with water and the big mug that I use to give bath to her (I brought a smaller mug for her so she would be able to fill it from the bucket and lift – but it was the big mug that still held her attraction, for I use it to give her bath).

Her favourite place in the whole house is the kitchen

– for that’s where the most interesting activities happen – I cook, it leads to the backyard where the birds and buffaloes can be spotted, it’s the kitchen where the dinner table is and that’s where my laptop is, where I check my emails, listen to songs etc. I tried creating a play-space for her and she finds her way there every now and then, but she keeps coming back to the kitchen to find me there, exchange a smile with me, share a few beautiful words – words that are her own creation. Those words are the most musical sounds I’ve ever heard. Sometimes, she’ll come singing into the kitchen – the song is a version of the mantra I sing to her.

babies need real world

The real paintings….

….on the big walls of an art gallery, the blender in the kitchen, the microwave with the cake pan rotating inside, the big keyboard that Pari plays (and not the small, toy-like thing from years past), the tea-cup that I sip from, the water bottle that we carry when traveling (she doesn’t want a sipper) – all the things that are in use in the real world are what she’s interested in!

cycling short distances with my baby

Her world is full of learning because she soaks up all the moments and experiences that are real – although they might seem mundane and ordinary to us. For her, they are enriching and exciting.

And, we think we need to create an artificial world

For our babies to learn and make sense of this world – with toys, books, books with textures (when we can have them feel those textures in the real-world context), cribs with mobiles, rooms with specific colours and patterns and letters and pictures, battery-operated gadgets.

They need none of these.

in the art studio with Pari

All they need is a home with real people

A home that is lively and playful with people who express their love with play, cuddles, conversations, respect. Our babies need parents/care-takers who do not treat babies as cute, tiny, helpless things that can be swung around, pinched on their cheeks, handed over to strangers without their consent, awareness and approval; who can be bounced around in carry bags when the baby is not willing to be strapped.

Sufiana is showing me the beauty, intelligence and wisdom of a baby’s mind and soul. She’s showing me every single day that she’s no less a person than I am. Infact, she’s got more clarity for so many things than I do. She knows exactly when she doesn’t want one more bite of the food she so relishes. She knows exactly how to communicate every need of her without using a single word. She spends time lost (engrossed?) in her thoughts oblivious of the sounds, the busy-ness around her. She can stay focused for long, long minutes examining mere (mere?) grains of fennel on the floor (she loves to pick each fennel grain and chew it).

She knows how to say “thank you, I”m grateful” with that subtle, gentle, sweet smile every time that I try to acknowledge and understand her – her joy, her pain, her frustration, her tiredness, her excitement, her irritation. The best part is how that smile is conveyed more with her eyes than with the curve of her lips.

I need help sustaining this blog…

Dear blog readers – It’s been exactly eight years now that I’ve been writing on this blog! Yes, eight long years and hundreds of articles. From art, creativity and learning; to food, health, gardening, travel, sustainable and mindful living, natural birth. In our un-schooling life, as we go on introspecting, questioning and evolving, I’ve strived to share our stories and experiences with as much honesty, care and sincerity as possible.

I spend hours writing an article – and often write and rewrite many times before it rings true to me and sounds worthy of your time to read.

The most important thing for me is to keep this blogging endeavour authentic and true to my values. This blog has been my sacred space to express, share, feel empowered and contribute. Hence, I do not like to support businesses that don’t align with my values. So far, I’ve rarely taken sponsorship from brands and companies. I haven’t placed any ads on my blog, though there have been multiple offers.

Infact, I’d like to keep this blog ad free unless something truly meaningful comes across.
Yet, there’s a cost to running this blog. The basic cost of keeping the domain alive, and hosting all this content on. I spend roughly INR 10,000 (USD 173) just to keep this blog up and running. So, I need to cover this cost. Plus, it’d be nice to bring in some income for our family of four. And, this is where I request your support.

If you find my articles and stories useful or inspiring at some level, please help me sustain. Starting from 1 dollar or 100 rupees to whatever you can, do consider donating for the content I share; for my intention and the time and effort I put. Your support will go a long way in keeping this blog (of 8+ years) sparkling with stories for many more years to come. Thank you, dear ones. I’ll value what you’ll gift with love and kindness. :-)

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Manish January 5, 2015, 11:43 pm

    Such a meaningful post – I particularly like what you have written in the second half. A kid is no less a person than we are. And I can totally see that often they have much more clarity than us, about things concerning them. Also, what you mentioned about how they are able to communicate almost everything without saying a word – I had recently shared a picture of Myra on FB mentioning how I’m totally amazed by a kid’s ability to communicate without speaking a word! I really am..

    • Rashmie January 13, 2015, 11:44 pm

      Yes, Mannu, these little ones continue to amaze me. Sometimes, I feel, I need to put away whatever I’m doing and just keep aside time to watch her (Sufiana) so I understand her more and more. In watching her, I see the beauty of this divine creation. I feel we don’t need to do anything to them – like teach them, train them, discipline them. We just need to watch them unfold and shower them with love and care and compassion. Just listen to them with sincerity and understanding.